My all-time favorite name for a shop in Malawi is “If You Don’t Have Money Don’t Bother Me Welding Shop.” Another favorite is the “99% God’s Plan” used clothing store. I asked the store owner what the other 1% is, and she replied that it’s her hard work.

Some store names are open to misinterpretation, especially for people like me who lack socio-linguistic background. For example, there is “Wabwino Aferanji Butchery.” I am told that in this context the correct interpretation for aferanji is “Why did he die?” and probably refers to the untimely death of a person dear to the shop owner. To Western ears, that name is perhaps already too strange for a butchery. But lacking social context, I read the name as “Why did it die?” Butchery, where “it” could refer to a range of animals including cats, dogs, monkeys, and baboons. An even stranger name for a butchery.

Sakoma Onse

Another potential misinterpretation is the “Sakoma Onse Grocery and Restaurant.” When I asked a Chewa friend about the meaning, he said that “sakoma onse” could be interpreted “not every day is sunny” or  “not everyone is nice.” The problem with the interpretation is that the subject isn’t stated, it’s just implied. In fact, the name of the store could just as easily be interpreted as the “Not Every Orange is Good Grocery” or the “Not All of the French Fries are Tasty Restaurant.”

Cheap Plastic

Sometimes I do get the meaning of the words right, and it’s even an appropriate name for the store, but the name just wouldn’t fly in the USA. Take, for instance, “Zotchipa Pulasitiki,” “Cheap Plastic.” That’s exactly what they sell: cheap plastic buckets of all sizes. Oh, and mattresses.
Delicious Food
I love this sign, which is posted in the Ice Cream Den, where we often stop for lunch. The food is good, but I can’t say that it’s as good as the sign might lead you to believe.
Best You Can Do
And finally, I leave you with the slogan for a brand of canned vegetables. I think I know what they intended to say, but it sure sounds to me like they’re saying, “Because you can’t afford the good stuff.”